The Tending
Dear Jesus,
Lately I don't know what you are doing. I want to be your girl. A girl who is hungry for you above all else. A girl who is always passionate about your kingdom, but I am not. I feel tired in my spirit. And then I feel guilty for being tired.
All of my dreams feel so far away lately. Like- I am having a hard time in trusting that you will take me where you promised. And if you do, will it be fulfilling? It has to be. I know you. I know you will do it.
But, why do you have me here? Going through all of this weird random stuff? I know that it is probably growing good things in me. But, I just want to be intimate with you. And it feels like the things that you are using to mold me are actually just disheartening and do not bring me closer to you. I want to be closer to you. I love you.
Please use this season for good. And let it be over soon. Teach me how to be present in the little things. Speak to me about people and what you are doing in their lives. Let me not dwell in you for any other reason than your love. Hide me in you. Heal these things that are broken.
And grow my capacity to love. To love myself and others. To be as comfortable with noise as I am with silence. To be present even when it hurts.
Take me back to that place where I relied on you. Where I wrestled in the depths, but I knew you.
Where songs weren't hard to sing. Free me up inside.
And help whoever is reading this to know that they are loved and understood by you (in every season) If they are going through something similar to me, give them hope.
In your name,
Amen.
"No one who hopes in the Lord will ever be put to shame" (Psalm 25:3).
Hey you,
Some seasons are tending seasons. They are the pregnant and expectantly waiting seasons. They are the times when all that you know is- things are changing. Your dream isn't fully cooked yet. In fact, its going to take a lot longer before that little baby bun is ready to come out of the oven healthy and whole.
So, we wait. We nest. We prepare for the moment when it will come. We soak up rest, knowing that pretty soon we won't be sleeping as soundly. We accept the new limitations that come with a baby bump. Maybe we can't do the things we used to be able to. Maybe we crave different foods now. That is okay. We get excited whenever we see a baby because soon that will be us. Whenever we feel crazy because of the different hormones racing through our body, we accept ourselves and recognize that this won't last forever. And deep down we know that we will miss carrying our little bun on the inside where no one can experience it but us.
Of course this is simply a metaphor and at some point it will break down...maybe you're thinking 'umm...YA it already did'. Haha ;) But, I just want to show you guys that sometimes in order to get where we are going, we have to be where we are. And we have to not rush the process or make ourselves feel guilty for not being farther along than we are. Can you imagine a pregnant woman saying, "What is wrong with me? I am only four months pregnant and I should be six" ? Of course not, that is like crazy town! Similarly, we want to be patient with ourselves and the journey that the Lord is taking us on.
He has good things for you in this season- even though some things about it are hard. Jesus said, "Surely I am always with you, even to the end of the age" (Matthew 28: 20). So, just know that He sees where you're at. And maybe ask Him what you can do to prepare. What you can tend to.
p.s. feel free to leave comments and questions below :)
p.p.s. if you have any questions about this Jesus guy dm me!
Lately I don't know what you are doing. I want to be your girl. A girl who is hungry for you above all else. A girl who is always passionate about your kingdom, but I am not. I feel tired in my spirit. And then I feel guilty for being tired.
All of my dreams feel so far away lately. Like- I am having a hard time in trusting that you will take me where you promised. And if you do, will it be fulfilling? It has to be. I know you. I know you will do it.
But, why do you have me here? Going through all of this weird random stuff? I know that it is probably growing good things in me. But, I just want to be intimate with you. And it feels like the things that you are using to mold me are actually just disheartening and do not bring me closer to you. I want to be closer to you. I love you.
Please use this season for good. And let it be over soon. Teach me how to be present in the little things. Speak to me about people and what you are doing in their lives. Let me not dwell in you for any other reason than your love. Hide me in you. Heal these things that are broken.
And grow my capacity to love. To love myself and others. To be as comfortable with noise as I am with silence. To be present even when it hurts.
Take me back to that place where I relied on you. Where I wrestled in the depths, but I knew you.
Where songs weren't hard to sing. Free me up inside.
And help whoever is reading this to know that they are loved and understood by you (in every season) If they are going through something similar to me, give them hope.
In your name,
Amen.
"No one who hopes in the Lord will ever be put to shame" (Psalm 25:3).
Hey you,
Some seasons are tending seasons. They are the pregnant and expectantly waiting seasons. They are the times when all that you know is- things are changing. Your dream isn't fully cooked yet. In fact, its going to take a lot longer before that little baby bun is ready to come out of the oven healthy and whole.
So, we wait. We nest. We prepare for the moment when it will come. We soak up rest, knowing that pretty soon we won't be sleeping as soundly. We accept the new limitations that come with a baby bump. Maybe we can't do the things we used to be able to. Maybe we crave different foods now. That is okay. We get excited whenever we see a baby because soon that will be us. Whenever we feel crazy because of the different hormones racing through our body, we accept ourselves and recognize that this won't last forever. And deep down we know that we will miss carrying our little bun on the inside where no one can experience it but us.
Of course this is simply a metaphor and at some point it will break down...maybe you're thinking 'umm...YA it already did'. Haha ;) But, I just want to show you guys that sometimes in order to get where we are going, we have to be where we are. And we have to not rush the process or make ourselves feel guilty for not being farther along than we are. Can you imagine a pregnant woman saying, "What is wrong with me? I am only four months pregnant and I should be six" ? Of course not, that is like crazy town! Similarly, we want to be patient with ourselves and the journey that the Lord is taking us on.
He has good things for you in this season- even though some things about it are hard. Jesus said, "Surely I am always with you, even to the end of the age" (Matthew 28: 20). So, just know that He sees where you're at. And maybe ask Him what you can do to prepare. What you can tend to.
p.s. feel free to leave comments and questions below :)
p.p.s. if you have any questions about this Jesus guy dm me!
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