Cambodia // pt. 2

As I go through life I keep finding more and more of Jesus. He never leaves me alone and seems to be in even the most boring of things. Its funny because, as a little girl, I always wanted to do something 'big' with my life; something impactful. Something that had the Lord's hand on it. And felt like it did too. I love watching Him work something new and special into existence.

But, as I'm getting older, I'm learning that big moments are made up of a bunch of little ones. And even the brightest days have mundane memories.

I recently got back from a trip to Cambodia. My team taught English, shared the gospel, and drank too much bubble tea. I experienced a lot of captivating things during my time away. The people. The food. The sunsets. 

The time I spent in Cambodia filled my heart in a way that was different from anything I have ever experienced before. 

I miss the rooftops where the Khmer students cook their food late at night. I miss the hammocks and the stars. I miss being with my friends all of the time. I miss my students and their kind respect. I miss our weird dance that we performed and how we tried not to laugh every time the base drop almost exploded that speaker-tire. 

In the mornings my friends and I would get ready together. We shared literally everything- clothes, make up, snacks, coffee. We always told each other that we looked beautiful. And we meant it every time. The food was delicious- to put it simply. There was rice and spicy sauce at every meal. I had a bike named Merida. I rode into the city almost everyday to get bubble tea and meet with students.

But, there were definitely hard things about the trip. I was exhausted most days because we were doing so much. At first, I really did not like going to villages.
I always felt a tinge of undernourishment because of the lack of protein. Sometimes I needed space away from people, but there was no where to go. I missed my friends and family. There was conflict. I spent Christmas day sick and alone in bed. Some days I just wanted to be home with my dog. And worst of all- I couldn't play piano for a month.

There were so many good times and hard times woven throughout my time in Cambodia. This big trip, this thing that the Lord led me to and walked me through, contained both pain and beauty.
And, it is still pretty fresh.

***

As I sit here in my bed with a cup of coffee, twinkly lights, and a puffy sweater- wondering how long this whole corona thing is going to keep me inside- I rest. I rest after a long trip that contained a lot of emotions and a lot of rice.

My life doesn't feel very big at all right now. In fact, the world feels very, very small. But I know that there are lessons to learn here; things the Lord is doing. And I'm learning to be content with the ordinarily familiar things too. Like the view from my window. My piano. Lavender Lattes. My bed. The trail by my house. Lighting my candle. It all matters.

He is in the littlest of things.