What its All About

    The last few years of my life have been a total and complete whirlwind, as they should be. I've gotten degrees, traveled around the world, moved states, and recently married my best friend. The last few months, however, have been...quiet. There's not a crazy long list of things to be done (well, I need to figure out what to make for dinner, but that's about it). I've had a lot of time to think, and wonder..why the h*ck am I here?..What's it all about?

    I am a Christian and, so naturally, I know that my purpose is tied up in Christ. But, I always hit a snaffoo when it comes to the working out of that purpose. Is it to teach about Jesus? Is it to have children? Is it simply to worship God and know him? I find myself asking these questions because I don't want to spend my days chasing fulfillment in things that weren't designed to fulfill me. 

    The answers to these questions have been finding me (through counseling), thank God, because I am not brilliant enough to invent the meaning of life. In romans it says, 

"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purposes for them. For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters." (Romans 8:28-29)

    God's purposes for us involve the Holy Spirit conforming us into the image of Jesus. It's not an external job or influence level that communicates purpose. Instead, it is the Holy Spirit doing away with our flesh and changing us to become like Jesus- to become love. Throughout my life I have thought that my purpose  changes with season and the work of my hands. For example, being a student or being a nanny, that sort of thing. But really, it is an inward working of the spirit. And that takes all of the pressure off of me. All that I need to do is turn to the Lord in his mercy and love and let Him finish the work that he has started in me. This reality is a major mindset shift: the hard things in life don't hold me back or keep me from my purpose. Instead, they can release the Holy Spirit in my life to fulfill his purpose of making me like Christ. No striving to 'be a good person'. Instead I'm yielding to the Spirit's nature that is in me through Christ.

    So, you could say, its a good thing that my life has been slow and quiet. I don't want to conform to society's image of success. I want to be close with the Lord and watch him change me from the inside.